Friends

In my life I have had friends that are really great friends.  In fact they go into family category. These are those friends that are there for you no matter what. They are friends that act like what most healthy families act like. You can be the real you around them and they still love and care about you for who you are. These are very very rare to find, but when you find them I suggest that you hold onto them and not take them for granted. I personally can count the friends that I have like these on 0ne hand and I still have a finger or two left over.

Then there are those friends that are more like acquaintances. They are really not there for you. They only get in contact once in a while and most of the time it is when they need you to do something for them. They criticize you and your choices you and pretty much all you do. They are never really supportive of you. It is pretty much a one sided relationship “what can you do for me” type. I hope that you are like me and also have very few of these in your lives. I have about the same number of these types of friends as I do “family” friends.

Then there is where most friends are: in the middle somewhere. Hopefully, and in my case closer to the family side of the scale then the use acquaintance side of the scale.

I forgot one type, those are the friends that you never talk to but they are on your friends list on facebook or some other social media site. One of my very dear, in fact “family” friends did something I need to do and that was cut her friends list down and put only the friends and real family that she still talks to on a normal bases. One day I will get there with my friends list.

Now where do you fall as a friend to the friends you have? I am in the process of doing that right now. I am saddened to say that if I am being honest I am in the middle with most of my friends and I go back and forth between.  I know that I need to work harder at being a good friend. So I was thinking what does make up a good friend? And this is my list. I do believe it can change and be different for everyone.

A good friend is someone who will be there for you no matter what time it is or what they are doing.

A good friend is someone who will not put you or your ideas down.

A good friend is someone I don’t have to explain myself to.

One if not the most important to me is someone who will be honest with me. Yes that does mean telling me the truth even if it hurts.

Someone who cares about me and who I am as a person and does not try to change me to fit into what they want me to be.

Someone who calls me or is in contact with me on a regular basis, not only when they need something.

Someone who encourages me when I am down.

Someone who is not negative all the time.

Someone who won’t play the stupid high school games we all hated when we were in high school. (Yes that has been many many years for me but still the point is valued.)

Someone who does not stomp on you when you are already down.  (Yes I have a friend who does this)

Then I was thinking okay I have a lot of work to do with a lot of my friends. Then it came to my mind those less than a hand full of friends that do use me or not treat me very nicely. What should I do with them? Get rid of them all together? Then I heard this soft voice say to me two words. You may be asking what are those words. Well they are simple words and words that for being so simple are so hard for most of us to do. Love and grace. Just show them God’s love and grace.

Now I don’t know about you all but I know I have a lot of work to do to be a “family” kind of friend to most of my friends. I also have a lot of work to do in showing those of my friends that fall so short on my scale God’s love and grace.